


Sirius Story

by sleepomaniac



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Friendship/Love, Genderbending, Intersex, M/M, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:42:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22255870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepomaniac/pseuds/sleepomaniac
Summary: Sirius loves James
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

There was one thing Sirius Orion Black knew with absolute certainty was that he was completely and absolutely irrevocably head over heels in love with his Best Mate James Potter. Since the moment they met on the train it was like this unreal connection that pulled him towards James.  
Every miserable thing about his life disappeared and he safe and home when he was with him at his side So that’s where Sirius stayed beside James because that’s where his heart belonged. No matter what happened he wanted to be with James.  
The only problem was James never knew how Sirius felt for when Sirius met and felt connected to James and fell more and more in as the years past. James Was in love with Lilly on the very train that Sirius felt that he belonged with James. James felt Lily belonged with him never wavering in his conviction slowly breaking Sirius heart year by year.

When Sirius ran away from home. He went straight the Potters because that was were James was  
Where he could be safe and happy. That summer was amazing the time he got to spend with James every day . It was like a dream come true a glimpse at a life he could never have. It was the best summer for Sirius until school started back and Lily was back in their lives and James tried to be more responsible to gain Lily attention. While spending less and less time with Sirius. 

Sirius put on the mask of playboy so people wouldn’t see the actual pain he was in and James would not know how he felt . Sirius even slept with older hufflepuff girl to avoid suspicion. He hated it and felt so disgusted, iT was an out of body experience. He threw up in his dorms afterwards and he knew with certainty he would never be interested in females preferring his own gender. Not liking the dominant role in relationship. He rather be taken care of than be in control.  
Sirius faked it and was good at pretending that things were okay when they weren’t .He learned it from his home life and then he did it with James to make him see that Sirius was okay and strong and straight. If James ever found out and was disgusted or ended their friendship Sirius wouldn’t know what he would do or how he would survive. The truth was that Sirius was Fragile and could shatter so easily growing up the way he did it didn't take a-lot for Sirius to break. James and his friends were his life line here and didn't know how to survive without them. Though at the same time lying and pretending around them and was slowly killing him.

When he pulled that prank on Snape, James verbally ripped Sirius into shreds saying how stupid Sirius for playing that prank and what it could have cost them. Sirius was drowning it his guilt.He had no intention of hurting Snape or outing Remus he didn't think Snape would follow through thats why he told James, but James was not even seeing his side of the story how snape provoked him and cornered him causing him to snap telling snape about the willow. 

Things were rough that summer had Sirius inherited money and couple of properties from his uncle Alphard. Some of the money he used, the rest he set in an investment profile with Gringots He also stayed in Alphard's town house so he didn't stay with the Potters. since he was financially stable but it took time for after the fallout for Sirius to make amends with his friends. Sirius apologized and he was truly sorry. It stills took a while for James and Sirius to get on good terms again before things went back to normal but them they had a blast Sirius bought a bike much to James amusement and they had another really good summer James spent a lot time together and things were looking up for Sirius. .

Until they got their Hogwarts letters James was Head boy and Lily was Head girl. They Started spending together and started dating and fell in Love and Sirius heart shattered. He thought he could Never feel anymore pain. James was always with her and Sirius felt lost Remus was always studying and Peter was constantly disappearing. He was lost without his friends and James completely forgot about him the never spent time together every hogsmeade trip was spent with Lily, so was every meal. Sirius was lucky if got a 5 minute conversation without Lily being involved. He tried to be happy with scrap he got but it was hard. 

As the year came to a close, James came out of the blue said they should talk that he needed show him something. Sirius was excited maybe the actually get to spend some time together. HIs hopes were crushed as James showed a ring. James was bright eyed and so happy as he showed Sirius the ring he was going propose Lily with and all Sirus wanted to do was curl in a ball and scream and cry he was losing James for good. James was never going to be his and he didn’t know what to do all he knew was that he couldn’t be here anymore couldn't watch James marry Lily. He never have that with James he would never feel those arms wrapped around him or kiss those lips that were smiling at him. He would never run his hands through the jet black hair that was a constant mess know what those eyes would be like looking at him with love or feel James pressed up against and inside him to be one with him.

So put on his smile looked at his friend and said “ She going to love it Prongs” laughing and hugging him tight Sirius whispered “ I am so happy for you” he lied. In his head he thought of how he was going to leave without anyone knowing. He couldn't be here anymore he would lose his mind if he stayed. HIs family were already known for going mad and If he saw James marry Lily he would lose his mind.

Letting go of James smiled at him as he said he was going to show Peter and Remus he nudged him forward, watching the love of his life leave destroying his heart unknowingly in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius gets ready to leave

Sirius decided that knew had a lot to change, he practically designed his whole life surrounding James how he was going to be Aurora, be his partner and do everything with him except be with him. He Decided to write gringotts inquiring about other properties that he inherited from his uncle, especially the one out of country.Since it would be best to avoid conflict and trouble with a war brewing in the horizon.He had carefully analyze all his options and plan carefully how he was going to leave without anyone being to find him.  
He also had to decide what he was going to do after graduation and needed to apply himself in his studies more than usual to get good NEWT results.   
With a month left of school Sirius started planning on how he was going to leave Without anyone knowing which was quite easy since James with all his responsibilities and Lily. Remus was studying alone stressing over exam and peter kept on disappearing. That they never noticed Sirius distancing himself and fading away.

Sirius received a list of properties from gringotts that he narrowed it down to three possible residents he was interested in. As he was on the way to owlery to inquire gringotts about more details about them, when he noticed a couple of seventh Slytherin cornering someone who seemed younger than them. “ Hey What are you doing?” he asked pointing his wand at them casting a quick stinging hex followed by a disarming charm causing them to runaway. He turned around to face the student they were bothering to look into grey eyes similar to his own.It was his brother.Regulus looked like he was going to break and had tears in his eyes.  
“Regulus” he asked stunned “ What did they want from you,Are you okay”He never saw his brother look so broken before panicking in worry .Causing his brother to look at him shocked before frowning him “like you care” Regulus scoffed at him. looking pissed at him he turned way from Sirius walking a way. Sirius for some reason instinctively grabbed his hand stopping Regulus. Looking at his brother how long since that they behaved as brother or just hanged out and talked. His brother was all grown up and barely talking to him.  
He and Regulus used to be best friends when they were young they protected each other and watch each others backs. When he came to Hogwarts he got so caught up in James and fighting their parents that he left him behind. Completely letting his parents hatred blind his love for his brother, thinking Regulus was like them because he was sorted into Slytherin. Thinking about what terrible brother he was trying to make amends.“Wait ! Look I know I was horrible to you as brother to and you don’t owe me anything but if something is wrong and you're in trouble or you need help. I will help you. I’m sorry for hurting you and leaving you behind.” Sirius said looking at his baby brother hoping for him to believe how genuine he felt.  
Regulus couldn’t believe what Sirius was saying his brother who practically disowned and shunned him since he was sorted into slytherin, completely ignoring him was now apologizing to him. He didn’t know if he could believe him he was so angry at Sirius for all that happened.  
“ You left me with her, and ignored me, do you know how hard it was when our parents put all their expectations on me” Regulus hissed upset.  
“I know, I’m sorry, I’m your big brother,I should have looked out for you, I was stupid thinking you betrayed me when you were in slytherin. When I’m the one who hurt you ” Sirius desperately said trying to get through to Regulus.”I want to help you Regulus please believe me” He begged.  
Not knowing if he could trust Sirius Regulus hesitated he knew Sirius felt his family and you know who. His parents thought of being apart of his cause was an honour and the older Slythrin were forcing him to join since he was going to become legal wizarding age soon. Regulus didn't know what to do. He didn’t want to be a Death Eater but he had no choice all his friends were slytherin and he had nowhere to go and no way to survive. Could he really trust his brother, would he actually help. Looking around they were in an empty corridor no one was around he decided maybe just maybe he could risk Sirius knowing maybe Sirius actually cared.Deciding to take the risk he took a deep breath in before blurting out.  
“They want to join you know who and our parent support him.” Looking at his brother anxiously.  
Sirius was he couldn’t believe Regulus might join Voldermort. Various emotions went through Sirius shock anger, grief and confusion. “Do you want to join him he asked Regulus slowly worried .The thought of his brother with that monster made him sick to his stomach.  
“NO!” Regulus shouted out ,scared of the thought he started crying “ Their going force me, I don’t want to be but I don’t have a choice,” said he sobbed out. Sirius heart broke as he saw his brother crying he grabbed and hugged holding close and tight, as he sobbed into his shoulder.  
“ It’s okay, no one is going to make you do that”he said fiercely holding regulus with one hand wiping his tears away with the other. If anyone thought of hurting his baby brother he was going to tear them to pieces.  
“ You're of age you can live with me we can leave the country” Sirius said attempting to console Regulus.” I have uncle Alphard money we can leave where no one can get to you” he blabbered on.   
Regulus started to listen to his brother Sirius was listening to him and was willing to help he was shocked.  
“ You're Serious” Regulus said in disbelief causing Sirius to smirk back and say “ why yes. yes I am.” Regulus laughed and slapped his brother shoulder “prat”  
“ So what do you say baby brother want to live with me” Sirius asked searching Regulus face causing him to beam and scream yes wrapping Sirius in a tight hug holding him close. Over the next couple day Sirius started to explain Regulus his plans. They would meet in abandoned classrooms to avoid suspicion at night and pretend to ignore each other during the day

Sirius started to incorporate Regulus into his plans . They decided that they would move to the house America to put the greatest amount of distance from everyone they would also be able to enroll Regulus in magical school there to finish seventh year. They move somewhere else later if they wanted after Regulus graduated. They were able to do all the necessary paperwork easily with the help of the goblins with a fee. Having finalized their plans.  
All they needed to do wait till Sirius graduated. They would go to Hogsmeade apparate to gringotts and take and international portkey to america from there they will go to the house in america which's location was protected and warded. As the plan was finalized and the school year came to an end. Regulus birthday came and went making him legal wizarding age Sirius got him watch and told him he buy something when they got to america. Soon Sirius graduation came and their last day at Hogwarts was here putting their plan into action. Sirius sneaked out early to see Regulus to make sure he got everything ready so they could leave when graduation ceremony was done.

**Author's Note:**

> may continue if people want me to looking for beta


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